Sex isn’t the same in your 70s as it is in your 20s. Your body, preferences, and needs change over time, and sex becomes even more of a taboo subject. Every time you turn on the TV, read a book or pick up a magazine, you’ll see sex and sexual references, but most of these are aimed at adults under the age of 50.
You don’t suddenly stop having sex just because you’re in your 70s, 80s, and even your 90s. It’s something that all ages do, and if you embrace your sexuality as a senior, you might learn some interesting and surprising facts.
Physical Changes Alter the Way You Have Sex
A series of physical changes mean that sex isn’t as easy as it was in your younger years. It may not be as enjoyable either, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.
For men, the biggest change is that it takes longer for them to achieve an erection and reach climax. It also takes longer for them to recover after sex and get another erection.
To counter these effects, many men reach for medications like Viagra, but this is just a natural part of the aging process and is not necessarily a sign of erectile dysfunction.
It’s patience that you need, not pills.
Ejaculations are less forceful, there is less semen, and it becomes difficult to maintain an erection.
For women, orgasms may be much shorter, and they may find that they need more stimulation to reach climax.
Men and women also struggle with mobility issues. They are not as fit or as agile as they were, and this limits their movements and abilities in the bedroom.
The best solution for these problems is understanding. Speak with your partner, discuss your concerns, and try to be as relaxed, open, and transparent as possible. If you feel anxious about the fact that you can’t get an erection, that will only make the situation worse and impede your enjoyment of the act.
The more relaxed you are, the less likely you are to experience issues.
You’re Never Too Old to Worry About STDs
An increasing number of seniors are being diagnosed with STDs. One study found that while the rate of infections across the whole population rose by 11%, the rate in seniors grew by an alarming 23%.
The rates of sexually transmitted diseases are still low amongst the older population, but they are on the rise and it suggests that fewer seniors are practicing safe sex.
Seniors are less promiscuous and less likely to have STDs than their younger counterparts, but they are not immune. The idea that you don’t need to practice safe sex is a complete fallacy. It’s still important to practice safe sex as sexually transmitted infections are not comfortable or pleasant at any age.
Seniors are Not as Educated on Safe Sex as You Think
There are numerous causes for the increasing rate of STDs amongst seniors. Firstly, many seniors are now living together in retirement communities. Secondly, they have access to medications that make sex more accessible and enjoyable for people with impotence and mobility problems.
Finally, there are suggestions that many seniors are not as educated on the dangers of safe sex as they should be.
While safe sex education is part of the modern curriculum, that wasn’t always the case. Many seniors grew up without proper safe sex education. They may have been in a long-term relationship for many decades and, therefore, have never needed to consider the risks.
Once their partner passes away and they start dating again, they remain ignorant of the potential risks and because they were practicing unprotected sex for so long, they go back to doing what they are used to.
Erectile Dysfunction is Common
Testosterone levels decrease with age and as they do, erectile dysfunction (ED) becomes increasingly common. It’s a topic that men don’t talk about as they are often ashamed, so even though they are happy to talk about their sex life with friends, they rarely admit this issue.
As a result, men grow up thinking that ED is rare, something to be ashamed of, and something they need to hide from their doctor and even their partner. They make excuses, avoid getting help, and try to deal with it themselves.
That said, it’s very common and all older men will experience issues at some point. As noted already, many issues can be remedied by staying calm and relaxed and allowing for a little more time.
Seniors Still Masturbate
If you’re a caregiver or healthcare professional, you might be disturbed by the idea that the care recipient is masturbating in the home or assisted living facility.
If you’re approaching this from the perspective of a much younger caregiver, it’s important to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine that you don’t have a partner to spend time with and have no sex life. Would you really abstain from masturbation for the rest of your life?
Probably not.
Healthcare professionals and caregivers need to understand that this is a natural act and it is perfectly normal when performed alone and in the privacy of their room.
Some People are Not Interested
While many seniors are just as sexually active and interested as they were in their younger years, others are completely disinterested and dismissive. If you’re dating as a senior, it’s important to keep this in mind.
Some seniors just want to take their time. They may be anxious because they spent so long with a single person. They may have issues that make sex stressful. It’s important to speak with them, to understand where they are coming from, and to make your desires known as well.
If you have only been dating for a short time and they have made it clear they are not interested in sex, consider finding someone else. The idea that sex isn’t important in old age is just as preposterous as the idea that sex stops playing a role in senior relationships.
Just because you’re older doesn’t mean a relationship stops being about sex and intimacy and starts being about occasional games of Scrabble and walks on the beach. It is always important in a relationship if the people in that relationship have the desire.